Assalamualaikum.
Question: Do you believe in soul mates? Do you believe that somewhere out there, there is someone that is just perfect for you?
I used to. Does the verb past tense: used to, means that I have became jaded and cynical? Maybe, because when I get to my age, love and everything sweet are not that important anymore? Note the usage of question marks.
I used to be an avid reader or romance. I would rather use my money to buy romance novels instead of buying designer clothes and handbags, even make up and skin care. To me, I need those books. They were my companion when I was working in KL back when I was in 20's. And you guessed it right, I believed that someday, I would find a tall, dark and handsome man that would sweep into my life and rescue me from my mundane life. I would be cherished and treasured, and we would have a lot of kids together. All the pieces in my life would fall into place. And finally, I would be complete.
But, life doesn't always turned out the way we want it to be. I found myself, always on the outside looking in. Slowly, my small circle of single friends are diminishing. They found their soul mate, settled down, and proceeded to deliver cute babies that grew into adorable kids. FYI, I used to dislike kids. I found them too noisy, too boisterous. Maybe it's the age catching up. Maybe, it's the mother instinct catching up? Or to be honest, I am always a kid at heart? I don't know why. I think, I am strict with my kids, but still, each time they saw me outside the classroom, they would call out my name. "Teacher! Teacher! Teacher!" Hahahahah... I think being a kid's magnet is much better than being a guys' magnet right? At least I don't feel awkward. Hahahah. And now, being in this line of work, I meet kids everyday and I love it. Though, during the planning of the lessons, I would sometime encounter what I like to call, teacher's block. I mean, inspirations doesn't come easy. I want to make all my lessons interesting, but... sometimes I don't know what else to use in the classroom. I keep on meaning to do my research, but I am a master procrastinator. And that is the whole truth.
I do digress, sorry. Back to the whole topic. Last year, 2012 was a turning point for me. I found myself wondering, would things turned out differently if I had someone by my side? Is it important to settle down in order to feel safe? I thought, when I turned 30 and realized that there won't be a knight that is going to ride into my life and save from everything. He would protect me, and most importantly, take charge of my car's maintenance. Hahaha. I hate that technical side of cars. Wouldn't it be easier if we only need to put gas into the car, drive it and that's it?
But a friend put everything into perspective. She said, "we don't need a man to define who we are...". And that goes for feeling safe. Be alert and be careful. Avoid driving alone during night time unless it's absolutely necessary. Most of all, lower your hijjab and gaze. Try to avoid drawing attention to myself. And most of all, I need to put my trust in The Almighty. He would always protect me.
Regarding soul mates, knights that would slay dragons for me, tall, dark and handsome strangers that would sweep into my life? I think, we all need the fantasy. Sometimes as an escapism from the hectic and chaotic life that is mine, but, I finally realized. We don't need knights that would slay dragons for us, we don't need handsome, Greek tycoons that own luxurious cars, villas and yachts. We just need a soul mate, that, when we are with that person, even silence feels comfortable. And we could be just the way we are, no pretense and most of all, that person would be with us in Jannah. I am not waiting. I know that he is out there somewhere. And when the time is right, with Allah's blessing, the time would stop. And we would know. Just know. For the moment? I am going to live my life, instead of being the one outside looking in.
Wassalam.
Question: Do you believe in soul mates? Do you believe that somewhere out there, there is someone that is just perfect for you?
I used to. Does the verb past tense: used to, means that I have became jaded and cynical? Maybe, because when I get to my age, love and everything sweet are not that important anymore? Note the usage of question marks.
I used to be an avid reader or romance. I would rather use my money to buy romance novels instead of buying designer clothes and handbags, even make up and skin care. To me, I need those books. They were my companion when I was working in KL back when I was in 20's. And you guessed it right, I believed that someday, I would find a tall, dark and handsome man that would sweep into my life and rescue me from my mundane life. I would be cherished and treasured, and we would have a lot of kids together. All the pieces in my life would fall into place. And finally, I would be complete.
But, life doesn't always turned out the way we want it to be. I found myself, always on the outside looking in. Slowly, my small circle of single friends are diminishing. They found their soul mate, settled down, and proceeded to deliver cute babies that grew into adorable kids. FYI, I used to dislike kids. I found them too noisy, too boisterous. Maybe it's the age catching up. Maybe, it's the mother instinct catching up? Or to be honest, I am always a kid at heart? I don't know why. I think, I am strict with my kids, but still, each time they saw me outside the classroom, they would call out my name. "Teacher! Teacher! Teacher!" Hahahahah... I think being a kid's magnet is much better than being a guys' magnet right? At least I don't feel awkward. Hahahah. And now, being in this line of work, I meet kids everyday and I love it. Though, during the planning of the lessons, I would sometime encounter what I like to call, teacher's block. I mean, inspirations doesn't come easy. I want to make all my lessons interesting, but... sometimes I don't know what else to use in the classroom. I keep on meaning to do my research, but I am a master procrastinator. And that is the whole truth.
I do digress, sorry. Back to the whole topic. Last year, 2012 was a turning point for me. I found myself wondering, would things turned out differently if I had someone by my side? Is it important to settle down in order to feel safe? I thought, when I turned 30 and realized that there won't be a knight that is going to ride into my life and save from everything. He would protect me, and most importantly, take charge of my car's maintenance. Hahaha. I hate that technical side of cars. Wouldn't it be easier if we only need to put gas into the car, drive it and that's it?
But a friend put everything into perspective. She said, "we don't need a man to define who we are...". And that goes for feeling safe. Be alert and be careful. Avoid driving alone during night time unless it's absolutely necessary. Most of all, lower your hijjab and gaze. Try to avoid drawing attention to myself. And most of all, I need to put my trust in The Almighty. He would always protect me.
Regarding soul mates, knights that would slay dragons for me, tall, dark and handsome strangers that would sweep into my life? I think, we all need the fantasy. Sometimes as an escapism from the hectic and chaotic life that is mine, but, I finally realized. We don't need knights that would slay dragons for us, we don't need handsome, Greek tycoons that own luxurious cars, villas and yachts. We just need a soul mate, that, when we are with that person, even silence feels comfortable. And we could be just the way we are, no pretense and most of all, that person would be with us in Jannah. I am not waiting. I know that he is out there somewhere. And when the time is right, with Allah's blessing, the time would stop. And we would know. Just know. For the moment? I am going to live my life, instead of being the one outside looking in.
"... being married is not the be-all, end-all. It is just the beginning of something amazing"
- Valentina Nervosa, Nurul Syahida.
Wassalam.
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