Wedding Fever

Assalamualaikum.

Hahahah..Gripped by the wedding bug, I think. That's what I got for listening to the elders talking about wedding what-nots...

There's a quote that goes:

To be truly happy, a man must open himself to love...

I believe in soul mate. I believe in happily-ever-after. But I think, I have commitment-phobic disease, and I have to be able to open my heart, to let me be truly happy, in this world and in the hereafter, insya Allah.

I am expensive. That's what I keep saying to my friend, Ria. I shouldn't waste my time on guys who aren't able to understand my twisted jokes and my cynical outlook on life. He must be someone I could respect. That's very important in a relationship. When there is no respect, there won't be love.

Hahahah... I haven't met the right person yet, so far. Ria once asked me - Are ever going to get married. And confidently, I answered her, Yup, definitely! To the right person, at the right moment and at the right place, insya Allah.

My friends are asking me when am I ever going to settle down, especially Ta, one of my best friend from my schooling days. And truthfully I answered her, yes I will, someday. But so far, I haven't feel that flutter in heart, that butterfly feelings I got. You know how it is right? That euphoric feelings... of loved and being loved...

Love - such a short word. But full of mysteries. I need to open myself to LOVE and that's when I will discover what it's like to be truly and completely happy, I think. Rise with love. Not fall in love. Love is meant to make you happy. If he makes you cry, then he's not worth it.

Urghhhh...how come that 4-letter word is stuck inside my brain? Oh, man! I think it's because it's nearer to the school holiday and the mating season will start all over again!

To Be or NOT To Be

Assalamualaikum.
A breath of fresh air. Change of scenery. That's what I need right now, because my head and stress level is slowly killing me. I am afraid that I might burst up in flames due to the stupidity of others. Huuhuhhu.. I should just ignore them, I think. At least my friends told me to do that. But I think, my responsibility as a fellow human being forbids me to let it be. I feel that it is in my power to try to at least tell them that they are being ridiculous. Well, sometimes people can take it, and sometimes most of them just turn  deaf ears to what I have to say.

Lastly, the wise men said:

You cannot care about nothing and stay human,

but you cannot care about everything and stay sane.

Sometimes all we need to do is smile, and our smile could take someone from the edge, Insya Allah. All we need is LOVE....

Wassalam.

Assalamualaikum. I read this somewhere and it made me think of my kids. This is what I hope they will be someday, Insya Allah.

A Prayer For My Son

Build me a son, O Lord, who will be strong enough to know when he is weak, and brave enough to face himself when he is afraid; one who will be proud and unbending in honest defeat, and humble and gentle in victory.

Build me a son whose wishes will not take the place of deeds; a son who will know Thee — and that to know himself is the foundation stone of knowledge.

Lead him, I pray, not in the path of ease and comfort, but under the stress and spur of difficulties and challenge. Here let him learn to stand up in the storm; here let him learn compassion for those who fail.

Build me a son whose heart will be clear, whose goals will be high; a son who will master himself before he seeks to master other men; one who will reach into the future, yet never forget the past.

And after all these things are his, give him, I pray, enough of a sense of humor, so that he may always be serious, yet never take himself too seriously. Give him humility, so that he may always remember the simplicity of true greatness, the open mind of true wisdom, and the meekness of true strength.

Then I, his father, will dare to whisper, “I have not lived in vain.”

 Ini untuk terjemahan dalam Bahasa Melayu.:

Do’a Ayah

Tuhanku,
Bentuklah putra-putriku menjadi manusia yang berani.
Untuk menyadari kelemahannya, dan berani menghadapi dirinya, manakala ia takut.
Manusia yang tetap teguh dalam kekalahan, tetapi jujur, rendah hati serta berbudi halus di dalam kemenangannya.
Bentukla putra-putriku menjadi manusia yang cita-citanya tak pernah padam, dan sanggup mewujudkannya dalam tindakan.
Putra-putriku yang insyaf, bahwa mengenal dirinya sendiri adalah landasan pengetahuan
Tuhanku,
Aku mohon, supaya mereka tidak berada di atas jalan yang mudah dan lunak, tetapi tumbuh dan kau pimpin di dalam desakan dan tantangan, agar ia dapat berdiri kokoh di tengah badai.
Putra-putri yang dapat memimpin dirinya, sebelum berhasrat memimpin orang lain.
Putra-putri yang sanggup memenangkan hari depan, dan tidak lupa untuk belajar dari masa lampau.
Dan setelah semua ini menjadi miliknya, aku masih memohon supaya putra-putriku diberi perasaan jenaka, agar ia dapat bersungguh-sungguh tanpa terlampau bersungguh-sungguh.
Karuniakanlah mereka kerendahan hati, dan bimbinglah mereka agar selalu ingat akan Engkau sebagai sumber ‘kesederhanaan’ dan ‘keagungan yang asli’, sebagai sumber kearifan dan kekuatan yang asli.
Dengan demikian,
Maka aku (ayahnya) dapat memberanikan diri untuk berbisik
“ Hidupku tidaklah sia-sia…! “
(General Mc Arthur)

Wassalam. 

Being True to Oneself

Assalamualaikum.

Anger dwells only in the bosom of fools.    ~ Einstein

Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else: 

You are the ones who gets burned.   ~ Buddha

Anybody can become angry - that is easy. But to be angry with the right person, and to the right degree and at the right time and for the right purpose, and in the right way, that is not within  everybody's power and is not easy.   ~ Aristotle

Don't get the impression that you arouse my anger. You see, one can only be angry with those he respects.  ~Richard Nixon

When anger rises, think of the consequences.  ~Confucius





One word - ANGER. Why be angry all the time, Ani? Being a teacher to little kids, means that I have
to have a lot of patience. They are constantly making me feel like I am a troll or maybe a wicked witch since I used to shout at them, a lot, believe me!

Then, with the help of my mentors from CPD and also the experienced teachers in my school, and also through reading other English language teachers such as : http://noipunyablog.blogspot.com/  and also  http://teachermayah.blogspot.com/ . And not forgetting :  http://nuradyanirosly.blogspot.com/ . Puan Nur is not exactly a typical teacher, she teaches big kids at ELTC if I am not mistaken. I read her blog for quite sometime now, and I am always impressed with her passion for teaching. I hope that I would be inspired like that. 

Why? Why become a teacher in the first place, others might ask. Especially teachers in primary school? Since I had always had potentials to reach for the stars looking at my past successes. But I think, when I have been there and done that, I had been in private sector for nearly 2 years, and I realized then and there that I don't have the drive to reach the C.E.O position if  I stayed. So I left. And chose teaching little kids in my sleepy hometown. And I loved it. And still loving it. And I hope that that love for kids would continue until the day I left this earth, Insya Allah. 

Being a teacher, like I mentioned before, is never boring. Getting up each day, I am eager to go to school to see my kids. To find out, what adventures am I going to go to today. Hahaha... I love them all, the good kids, the brilliant ones, especially the naughty ones (shhh...don't tell the naughty ones). Cause, the naughty ones are the one that hold a special place in my heart. I may scold them, and I may punish them, but that's what being a teacher is all about. I want them to live out their potential. To be able to reach the stars maybe? I want them to be able to live out their lives, and when they looked back during their golden age, to be able to smile and only have fond memories. And especially have NO REGRETS. No saying, if only I had done this and that....

SO, yeah, one someone makes me angry, I should just smile and walk away sedately. I shouldn't let others arouse my anger. Be patient. Be patient. Be patient. That's is important to get ahead in life. Ya Allah, please grant me patient to face this life, especially the foolish ones and the ridiculous ones, Amin....

Dear Darling...

Assalamualaikum.

To my best friend in the world...

YOU have been the most important person in my life, especially after the two persons in the world that means the whole world for had return to our Maker. Thus, you have been my constant companion ever since, being with me through good times and also the bitter phase. Words could not explain how much you mean to me.

I know I had, at times, been careless with what I said to you. So, here, I would like to ask, no, beg for your forgiveness. If I had done things that hurt you, deeply, please, let us forgive and forget. You know how headstrong I could be, right? You've known me for as long as I am alive, kan, darling? So, like Bryan Adams' song... Please Forgive ME!

I promise that I would change my attitude after this. No more being like The Fairy Tale Princess. I would do my share of chores and help you to ease your burden. After all, it's you and me all the way right, yang? I love you, and I hope that things will go back to the way it was. I know that I am going to buy a washing machine, if I ever get the 2 months bonus! Hahahaha...That would help a LOT with the chores, right? Wassalam.

Patience in Life

Assalamualaikum. 

Kesabaran yang menipis? Memang lately I've been so angry with my kids that I didn't realize that I need to take a deep breath and stay silent for a while. Contemplate what is going on in my life. And try to overcome the hurdles that are in it. Insya Allah, when I think of a plan, and execute it, and then, ask for Allah's blessings, nothing is impossible. Allah the Almighty, He tests me when it is the right time, and He grants me ease of heart, whenever I feel demotivated. Move forward and smile when I am recounting my past experiences. And I must vow to myself to never feel it's too hard. This is Allah's love for me. To see how well I could cope with all those little things.

“Dan (ingatlah kisah) Ayub ketika ia menyeru Tuhannya: (‘Ya Tuhanku), sesungguhnya aku telah ditimpa penyakit dan Engkau adalah Tuhan Yang Maha Penyayang di antara semua penyayang.’ Maka Kami pun memperkenankan seruannya itu, lalu Kami lenyapkan penyakit yang ada padanya dan Kami kembalihan keluarganya kepadanya, dan Kami lipat gandakan bilangan mereka, sebagai suatu rahmat dari sisi Kami dan untuk menjadi peringatan bagi semua yang menyembah Allah.” (QS. al-Anbiya’: 83-84)

Sambutlah saat duka cita Sebagai kurnia,
Kerana suka ataupun duka Datang daripadaNya.
Bila itu datang dari Dia, Mengapa menolaknya?
Tuhan selalu menyertai kita Dan mengawasi kita.

Bila duka cita membawa manfaat, Ia memberi duka cita;
Bila suka cita membawa manfaat, Ia memberi suka cita.
Kedua-duanya kita peroleh Sesuai kehendakNya

Jangan bersedih kerana duka
Dan jangan lalai ketika suka


excerpts from the internet.

Steadfast Love...

Assalamualaikum.

Hellooooo all my fans! (Budget hot gitew...)

Anyway, I've been quiet for a few days now. OR maybe nearly a week? I can't remember even if my life depends on it! After all, I am in the 3-series category!

How's my birthday? It was great and I had a blast. I don't need diamonds and a Ferrari to feel that great. I have learnt that the best gift ever I could ever receive is unconditional love. From family, friends and my kids. I love them all. I hope that this feelings would never disappear from heart, insya Allah.

What else do I have on my plate right now? I've been busy with my kids. I had to teach them that in this world, we have rules for everything. Thus, they couldn't go around breaking those rules. I am still at the early stage. I have a long wayyyyy to go... heheheh...laughing happily inside the my heart cause my kids are learning something now. And I could teach them without shouting. I also had to teach the moral values in life - first of all, I had to make them realize that we are not alone in this world, so we can't go around feeling we are much better than other people. And most of all, DON'T BE SELFISH!

On top of trying to improve my teaching and learning, nothing interesting ever happened in my life. No Prince Charming is knocking my door. No Don Juan, no Romeo, or even Mr Darcy! Heheheh. And that's the way it should be. I am really not ready for a serious relationship. Maybe I have commitment issues? I don't know, actually. And when ask by a friend - "Do you want to get married?" I answered truthfully - "Maybe to the right guy for me, yes..." Shrugging my shoulders as I wrote this. Oh well, I think this matters of the heart, I just leave it at the back of my mind. If it happens, it happens. I am now going to enjoy my life to the fullest, insya Allah. Amin....

Wassalam.

Random Thoughts - The Day Before I turned 31

Assalamualaikum.

Oh no! Is that grey hair that I saw in the mirror?
 I just can't believe it that I had entered the 30's phase. I didn't realize that I am getting older. In my heart, I'll always be 17, or 21, or 25.... hahahaha...

Anyway, I am writing this just because - I feel like this kinda like a milestone. I am turning 31 tomorrow, Insya Allah.

So far, my achievements for this year:
1. Got transferred back to my hometown! (Alhamdulillah)
2. Meeting such extraordinary people in my new school.
3. Facing problems with my classroom management, since I had been in the comfort zone for 2 years back at my previous school, where there are only 40 pp per school.
4. Admitting that I had the above mentioned problem, and figuring out  a way to overcome the problem.
5. Adjusting to new people, new boss, new pupils and new environment, yup that took a lot of effort and also hard work.

But, at the end of the day, we choose how we want to live our lives. Be thankful what we have. Remember that we are slaves of Allah.

Moving to  a new topic, about the matters of the heart. I don't know why people are so concerned whether I am getting married, etc. I leave the matter up to Him. Being in a relationship, etc, I just don't feel like it now. I am happy with my current life and I am not certain whether I want to risk it just for a guy. Reading so much romance and watching too much Korean dramas, I just know, right from the beginning what type of guy do I like and wish to have as my soul mate. 3 words: Cha Mo Woon. You, know, from the Korean Drama - Protect the Boss. He's the second hero, but I like him much more cos he's the embodiment of a perfect gentleman. He respects his lover and never took advantage of that girl ( I can't recall her name...hahahah). As the saying that goes --> a great date is when a guy could take you anywhere without touching anything but your heart.... :-))

Another 15 more minutes to midnight. I should get some sleep. If I have anymore random thoughts I will try to jot them down later, insya Allah. G' nite all!

Wassalam.

A Quick Update

Assalamualaikum.

I am really truly sorry for being away far too long from here. But time seemed to run away from me. So I'll try to update quickly here for all my friends.

Hmmm...things are much better at school. My kids all seemed much more manageable and  *gasp!* even follow my instructions. Wellll, at least most of it. I still have a long way to go, but I feel so very much happier walking into the class. I LOVE you all kids!

On a more personal level, things are great! When I am happy, it really changed everything. And I mean EVERYTHING. I am much more calmer, less prone to temper tantrum and at peace with myself. Some people are asking me - am I getting ready to settle down? Hahahha...  Smiling and trying to be mysterious - I wish I knew when am I ever going to get married! I don't even have that many single guy friends. At least, I know that inside my heart there's still some memories of my previous one-sided crushes... Crashed and burnt and not ready to risk the pain, not yet, anyway...

I think this is long enough for a quick entry. Till I could write again... Take care lurve!

Wassalam.