I am not afraid...

Dear Heart; please fall in love when you’re ready, not when you’re lonely.

- TheNoteboook

When you live your life unafraid of what others will think of you, a funny thing happens. You’ll find that when you’re being the genuine you, you will attract genuine people into your world.

Are you being the real you? What would you change if you weren’t afraid? 

-David Wright

 Am I afraid of being alone? Is it true that I have to get hitched in order to avoid being lonely in my old age?

I don’t think I would mind the solitude. Everyone needs their own space sometimes. Why do we place such high value on husbands and children? Don’t we know that it’s all about fate? It’s not that I don’t want to get married or anything, it’s just that I haven’t found the right person. Why do people keep pestering with questions – “When do you want to settle down?” or “You know, it’s great, being married! Hurry up, get married!” and bla bla.... The most hurtful question would be – “Don’t you want to have children? If you get married late, you’d find it hard to conceive... your biological clock is ticking”. Even worst – “When I was your age, I gave birth to 4 kids!”.

I keep insisting to the people around me that being married is a lifetime commitment. I don’t want to get married out of desperation. I’ve seen what marriage gone bad done to the children. Once bitten twice shy as the saying goes.

I’m not denying that I need to settle down because it’s part of Prophet Muhammad S.A.W’s sunnah. But should I just accept any Tom, Dick or Harry’s proposal due to the fact that I am getting on with my years? I have to live with him for the next forty or fifty years, insya Allah, if I live that long. So it’s not too much to ask that I would choose someone who I could respect and I’d like to think – LOVE is it?

For the last time, people around me, please understand. I am waiting. Waiting for Allah to grant me my ‘jodoh’ or as mat sallehs call soul mate. So, just be tactful okay, because I don’t know when am I going to explode when someone asks me the same old question – “When are you getting married?”

If you want to see me happily committed, just, please pray sincerely for my happiness and other spinsters out there (yes, I’m not ashamed to admit that I AM a SPINSTER!). But I don't want to be lumped into the desperate ones.

Insya Allah, someday, somewhere, somehow, I’ll meet my destiny... and I hope that he is everything that I need!