L.O.V.E.?

October is here. My, my how time flies! It seems like only yesterday that I got my posting letter. Now it’s nearly the end of school year. But I do digress.


I want to write about romance, about matters of the heart, about love... but living in a rural area like BB, I hardly get a chance to meet eligible bachelors. And for one, I am reluctant to choose someone from BB, because I don’t want to put down my roots here. No, don’t get me wrong. I like living here. It is Calm and no traffic jam. And also, since I moved to a new house, I feel great now with no fussy old lady to breathe down my neck - pure heaven!

You don’t get to the ripe age of 29 and not have crushes - because that’s all they were. Why is it so hard to fall in love for me, I don’t have the answer. Maybe I am too choosy. To quote from Jude Deveraux (one of my favourite romance author), what I want is a grand romance. I know, I know, most of you who know me would say – oh...she’s been reading a lot of romance. Is it too bad? I have to spend the rest of my life with him, so, I think I should put much logic and thought before I make the jump. Because that’s what it is – a gamble. A companion, the one I would build my family with, it is no small matter. Some people say it took them one second to fall in love. To me, that is kind of risky. What if what you see with your eyes is deceptive? What if the guy is only putting on a show so that you fall, hard. And then it’s too late. You find yourself married, and, no, I don’t want to have to divorce! What then? Do you grin and bear the burden, or do you move on? I’ve had friends who divorced before they were 30. What happens if you have a child? What do you tell your child if he or she asks about his or her father?

I guess I am spoiling the romance. Should I believe in romance? Admittedly, I do have friends how are so blissfully happy with their marriages that I envy them. It would be so good to find your one true love (like in Enchanted). At the end of the day, I think you have to work hard to make your marriage works. And that takes a lot of gumption and hard work. Love and friendship, that is important. Unless I could respect my partner, then, I don’t think I am ready to get hitched! I leave it all the hand of Allah.... only Allah knows what is best for me....



3/10/2010

8.57 p.m.

BB