It’s already 10.31p.m., and I am wide awake. I was tired, what with the long drive home, but I find myself banging out my keyboard, writing about nothing and everything.
Hmmm...what should I write about? Do I want to write about my adventure today or about the incident last month? Let me think for a while... I’ll get back to this entry in a while.
I think this is going to be the hardest entry that I’ve ever written. I have to take responsibilities for my actions. It all began on a lazy ___ erk, I’ve forgotten what day it is. Maybe it was in the middle of the week, that’s why I was feeling so blur!
Anyway, it was a hot lazy afternoon and I was watching television. Then, I got a call. My friend called me and asked me about any empty room in my rented house. There was a new girl asking about room at her house. And I was about to say that no, there is no room in my house, the rooms are all occupied, and I don’t think it’s such a good idea for working people to share rooms. But then, I felt pity for the new girl. I remembered how hard it was to come to BB and NOT find a place to live. If it wasn’t for Tok Long and Makcik Tun, I would be stuck in a homestay! But, unlike me, she did have a rented house, but she was scared to stay on her own.
After much thinking and discussing with all my roommates, we decided to invite the girl to stay at our house. My mistake was I extended the invitation without bothering to check her out. When she came to our house I was very uncomfortable with her. Maybe I am biased and totally wrong, but from my first impression, I found her a busybody and spoiled. I felt very uneasy about this girl. But I didn’t do anything yet.
Moving on, the next day, I got a call from Klinik Kesihatan BB. The person inquired about vacancies in my house since one of my housemate found out she’d be transferred to Dungun. So, the new staff replacing her was looking for a place to stay and she was hoping that she could replace my housemate as well. I was doing my school work, so I was feeling a bit dizzy. In my haste, I said yes without thinking.
When I got home that day, I started thinking. What if the new girl and the nurse stayed together at the new girl’s house? I decided to change my mind and informed the new girl and the new nurse about my decision. Unfortunately that sparked a very unpleasant incident. They were unable to accept it. I tried it the subtle way, and when it didn’t work I tried being firm. My sister had to intervene so that they would get the message.
Does changing my mind make me a bad person? I am not trying to make excuses so that I don’t look bad, but I still think a girl is entitled to change her mind right? Right? Right? I am still feeling guilty and deeply regretted my haste in saying 'Yes' easily to others. I think what I learn from this incident is to think carefully before agreeing to anything! But I heard that both of them have found a place to stay (after all, BB is not that BIG!). I pray that in time they would forgive me...
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