Seeing all that’s happening around me right now, I think our family institutions are going straight down the toilet. When marriage is not considered a sacred bond anymore, separation or divorce is easy to obtain.
Who suffers the most? Of course, the children! Sometimes, I wonder why the parents rush into marriage only to part ways in 2 or 3 years time. False love, I think that is the reason. When the eyes are easily deceived and only lust is followed instead of the heart and mind, we marry for the wrong reasons.
To quote from my writer of the week
– “Marriage is not the be-all, end-all. It’s just the beginning of something amazing!” ~Nurul Syahida (Valentina Nervosa)
Before we step into the marriage world, we need to ask ourselves, am I ready to shoulder these responsibilities - to be a wife, a mother, a nurturer, a friend, a confidante etc? Do you perform prayers and pray for guidance from Allah before you accept the proposal? Or do you just hopped up and down and shouted “Yes?”
Speaking from experience (I came from a dysfunctional family), my mother and father had done their best to raise me and my sister. They rarely fought, but when they did, it was ugly. That’s what scarred me and made me extra careful of marriage and matters of the heart…. My friend said, I shouldn’t be afraid. She said if I let fear dictates how I live my life, and then I wouldn’t find total happiness. She’s right.
But it does pay to learn from the past. History does not repeat their mistakes, people do. If I just follow my heart blindly, without asking for help from Allah, I am afraid that I would be hurt, disappointed, let down, etc…
And as for my advice for those in my shoes (from the same background)? Don’t let your parents’ mistakes and shortcomings decide your future. I really hated seeing all those teens saying – “my mother doesn’t love me that’s why she left my father” or “my father is not responsible that’s why I should ruin my life!” Believe me, those excuses and a million others only would truly ruined your life!
Be happy with what you’ve got in your life, such as a loving sister (like I have right now, Alhamdulillah), or maybe grandparents who love you to pieces, or even just a good and true friend. Be thankful to Allah. If you think it’s bad right now, believe me, it would get better! Just be prepared to be a success. Don’t let your past determines your future. You’re strong, that’s why you’re given this trial and tribulation. Believe me, if you walked through fire right now, then afterwards, everything would seem like a walk in the park! Insya Allah, we would find happiness, if not in this life, then in the afterlife!
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